i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize