Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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