i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
