Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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