Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
