Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found puke in my bra..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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