Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
