he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
