Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
