I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pants are for mortals
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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