why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize