it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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