There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
