:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
