John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
