i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
