If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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