This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
