I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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