Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
