so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize