I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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