dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just found puke in my bra..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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