I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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