fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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