I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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