Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i dont even know how to be here
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
