That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
