either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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