I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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