you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
