You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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