walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
