she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
