i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
