we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hippo gnu deer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
