im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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