After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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