A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
