Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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