She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize