Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
