McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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