Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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