by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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