i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
