whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have tasted many bathrooms
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
