I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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