yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
