Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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