fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
