You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
