Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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