She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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