dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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