She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize