i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
