So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
