You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
