I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
