her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Actions speak louder than pants.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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