is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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