did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
