What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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