how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
