Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We're too hungover to prance.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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