I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We need to get me chipped asap
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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