turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize