oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
