Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
