I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
