you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize