I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize