Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
